Penny Mordaunt has dropped out of the Tory leadership race, presumably after failing to get 100 nominations, meaning the Tory Party has a new leader without going to its members who they know are too stupid to vote. Let's be honest, it's harsh but true.

Penny Mordaunt has dropped out of the Tory leadership race, presumably after failing to get 100 nominations, meaning the Tory Party has a new leader without going to its members who they know are too stupid to vote. Let's be honest, it's harsh but true.

Mordaunt did not actually clarify whether she had the 100 nominations, unlike Boris Johnson who pretended he had, like a kid claiming he has a girlfriend in another school. Mordaunt was just as vague as she was on Laura Kuenssberg's Sunday show when she didn't bother to answer a single question about policy. She simply said "colleagues feel we need certainty today", such as the certainty the Tories are going to lose the next general election by a landslide.

Sunak was so excited about being crowned prime minister, he walked out of the 1922 Committee, made a brief and awkward speech and refused questions from the media, which seemed a bit weird. But actually, he did not give interviews or outline policies during his leadership bid and he lost a previous leadership bid just two months ago. Thankfully, democracy did not get in the way this time and neither did accountability. You will be pleased that Simon Hoare confirmed there will be no general election until 2024 because we would not want to overshadow the inauguration.

If anyone from the rest of the world is unclear what's going on in the UK, we have appointed our fifth prime minister in six years and our fourth unelected prime minister in a row. It's just what we do over here: we switch the managers of our economy without giving the public a say and then we help America bomb countries that aren't democratic. Of course, if we're unhappy about the situation, we could always try writing a letter to the unelected King Charles III. We have checks and balances in this country.

Our previous leader (whose name no one can remember) had a 9% approval rating and collapsed our economy in a fortnight, so naturally, we let her party remain in charge. The fact people overwhelmingly want change is neither here nor there. In 2019, most people either voted for Johnson's levelling up program or Corbyn's social democratic program, but what absolutely no one voted for was austerity 2.0 - a program even deeper than the one which killed 330,000 people. As you can see, the UK has a perfectly functioning system and we are quite right to lecture other countries about their lack of democracy.

The beneficiaries of the first austerity program were CEOs who got dramatically richer while everyone else suffered, so naturally, this time, rich people will make sacrifices so that poor people don't have to. Silly me, that's not how it works: austerity will hammer poor people even harder this time and even more innocents will die.

This is what Rishi Sunak - the richest man in parliament, worth £730 million - means when he says he must make "tough choices". He will make choices that are incredibly tough for people like you and incredibly easy for people like him. Why tax unearned income at the same rate as regular income when you can just close a hospital? Why crack down on tax evasion when you can bully disabled people back into work? Why pursue fraudulent Covid loans when you can take away school meals?

A constituent of Richmond said on ITV that Sunak will be brilliant for the northeast of England, which is interesting because he thought Darlington was part of Scotland. Also, when he was chancellor, the amount of levelling up that got done was effectively zero. Actually, it was a negative value because Sunak publicly boasted about diverting funds from poor urban areas to affluent rural areas. And things are only going to get worse.

Jacob Rees-Mogg might not have succeeded in bringing back Johnson, but he is planning to axe 2,400 laws, thanks to Brexit, including laws on animal testing, equal pay, food standards, workers' rights and environmental protections - basically all the things you would do if you were cartoon villain levels of evil. I've no doubt Sunak will let him do all these things, after all, he needs the right-wing nutjobs on his side.

But the "moderates" are automatically going to love Rishi, aren't they? After all, what they want in a prime minister is a man in a suit with nicely combed hair who has a good "vibe". Or have they finally had enough of the Tories now? Have the past 12 years taken things so far that even a friendly man in a suit cannot get away with unleashing unspeakable evil anymore? We can only wait and see.

Rishi might face problems from day one, just like the previous prime minister (whose name we've all forgotten) did. We've all heard the racist LBC caller declaring Sunak is not British because he's brown, and you'll be unsurprised to hear this idiot is far from atypical. Social media users are saying they've cancelled their membership and Tory commentators are saying they can't bring themselves to vote for Sunak, even though they would've voted for an identical policy platform from Boris Johnson, simply because it was delivered with less melanin.

If the Tories really have lost the support of racists and "moderates", they could be in desperate trouble, especially when you consider what the mini-budget did to homeowners and pensioners. Economists warned their uncosted fiscal plans would force interest rates up to 7%, but they went ahead because a party drunk on power after 12 years of sacrificing the poor, thought it could sacrifice even its core support with impunity.

And now the trust is gone, the unspoken agreement that only the working class should be sacrificed to keep house prices artificially high is broken. A new leader was meant to be an opportunity to limit the damage and Johnson could've got the flagshaggers back on side, but Sunak brings new problems because while he warned against the previous fiscal package, he is not offering an appealing alternative. 

Whereas Boris Johnson appeals to racists who love his silly act and believe he loves the country for some reason and will get behind anything he suggests, Sunak does not have that luxury. His Will from the Inbetweeners act turns them off in the way Johnson turned them on (sorry for that mental image). 

Sunak might not come with a policy platform, but we all know he has just two policies - tax rises - which will dismay the right - and cuts to public services - which will dismay the 66% who want a general election. Not only will Sunak struggle to repair the damage caused by his predecessors, but he could actually make things significantly worse.

The best Sunak might be able to hope for is managed decline, both for his party and the economy, but whereas the economy can bounce back, the Tory Party might not. They barely have a supporter under the age of 60 and the ones over 60 are either starting to see sense or so consumed by racism, they make Suella Braverman seem moderate. Ten years from now, it's hard to see who is going to be voting for this shambles of a party because even the racists are jumping ship.

The irony about all this racially-motivated right-wing hatred is there is plenty to dislike about Sunak - from Eat Out to Help Out to his Covid fine to his family's dodgy tax affairs to his links to Russian "blood money" to his lack of working-class friends and most scandalous of all, his lying about visiting McDonald's - his record as a politician and a person is dreadful. But most of his right-wing haters don't have a problem with those things. They hate him for the worst possible reason.

The Tories should be receiving full credit for giving the UK its first prime minister of Asian origin, it's a truly historic achievement and yet much of his own party hates him for this. What a strange situation.


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