You never guess who the Tory membership wants to bring back to replace Liz Truss? Well, actually you probably have guessed from that headline and because it's obvious: that's right, it's Boris Johnson! 

Boris. Johnson. 
Boris. Fucking. Johnson. 
God help us all.

If ever proof were needed the Tory membership should not be put in charge of a pair of scissors, let alone the destiny of a country, this is surely it. I mean, Boris Johnson? Come on.

According to polling data from YouGov from 17-18 October:

  • 55% of Tory members would vote for Rishi Sunak over Liz Truss if the last contest was rerun tomorrow
  • Only 25% of Tory members would vote for Truss and all of these people desperately need an intervention
  • Scarily, 63% say Boris Johnson would be their number one choice, with only 23% choosing Sunak

And then we have this:

Thankfully, the Conservative Party has changed the rules of the leadership contest to make Johnson's return less likely, but I'm not convinced it will be enough. A candidate needs the nominations of 100 Tory MPs to be eligible, but far-right blog Guido Fawkes is excitedly pointing out Johnson is already a quarter of the way there. At the time of writing, he is currently ahead of the guy the 1922 Committee wants to install - Rishi Sunak. 

If Johnson reaches the threshold, I can only assume there are a bunch of sex offenders in the Tory Party who really want a promotion. Either that or they're missing the karaoke nights in Downing Street.

You would think the fact Johnson is under investigation for lying to parliament would rule him out, but when did the Tory Party ever give a shit about rules?

Thankfully, the bookies still have Rishi Sunak and Penny Mordaunt as the favourites. I say thankfully - it's like waiting to see which boot is going to stamp on your face and hoping for the one with the softest sole. 

Anyways, nominations will close by 2pm on Monday so that's when we'll know who the final candidates are going to be. There can be no more than three, but the party is hoping for one candidate like they had with Theresa May in 2016. This is their best bet for avoiding another Truss-esque debacle - god knows who the membership would lumber us with, given half the chance.

If I can give Liz Truss any credit at all, it's this: she has done more damage to the Tory Party in a month than the left have during her party's 188-year existence. That's older than Jacob Rees-Mogg and that's the kind of statistic that can make any movement feel inadequate, isn't it?

  • Johnson may have lied to the Queen, but Truss shorted the pound
  • Johnson tried to hijack democracy, but Truss made Suella Braverman home secretary
  • Johnson fucked up the Covid response, but Truss ushered in austerity 2.0
  • Johnson prorogued parliament, but Truss did insider trading, either knowingly or as an unwitting puppet

So destructive has Truss been that she has people seeing the cartoon character who can't brush his own hair as a moderate. Just two months ago, we were calling Johnson the worst prime minister we've ever had, at least on domestic policy, because he'd somehow done more damage in three years than Margaret Thatcher did in 11 years. Liz Truss eclipsed that achievement in just two weeks.

This prompted Spencer Morgan, who you've probably never heard of, to say the following:

Surprisingly, Spencer is not a parody account, he is in fact a real person and so is his father Piers, sadly.

If nothing else, we've now established a line beyond which even the fuck nuggets in the Tory Party won't cross and this is a relief because it suggests the IEA/ERG will never hold power again. Their right-wing fantasies have been thoroughly debunked and it only took a fortnight of them being in charge. This must be so upsetting for them.

The Institute of Economic Affairs has been selling its low-tax nonsense to us for 67 years, it's infiltrated the Conservative Party with the ERG, and wormed its way into the mainstream media, where absurdly, it's described as centre-right. 

Our current economic turmoil is primarily a result of IEA fantasy economics and this mob should never be platformed by anyone again. I'm not talking about in a cancel culture type of way, I'm simply saying these people are as credible as flat-Earthers and chemtrail conspiracy theorists. They should not be platformed by anyone because they are stupid and dangerous. 

Thanks to these dickheads and the leadership of their badly constructed Trussbot, the Bank of England is selling gilts to force interest rates up, leaving many families at serious risk of homelessness this winter, including my own. It's a horrible time, but the silver lining is this episode could bury the Tories forever. They're currently set for as few as 100 seats at the next general election, but it could be even worse. If the next leader can't repair the damage caused by Truss, the Tory wipeout will be glorious to behold.

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