So the kids are back at school on Monday and I finally have time to write again...
Now I take lockdown as seriously as anyone, but I'd be lying if I said I'd not been counting down the microseconds to this moment! Three months with three human whirlwinds turning your house into a daily disaster zone is enough to make anyone's brain melt.
Finally the schools are reopening and the kids are relieved because I've called off the naughty children's home they were about to be sent to. And now they get to stay a while longer and fight over the bashed up old Nintendo Switch which they miraculously have not completely destroyed yet. Phew.
I can thankfully breathe again. And work. And how better to get started than to sum up all the recent happenings I've not had time to write about? This could take a while...
First of all Sir Keith Starmer - what an absolute dickhead.
Pardon my French, but that really needed to be said. It was actually therapeutic typing it out. I personally think Keith is trolling us now. The number one defence his supporters have offered up until this point is that he would be a moderate Tory. That keeping the actual Tories in charge would be even worse for us. That Starmer has us by the balls and we'd better bloody do as he says. Well, that argument is now dead in the water.
This is because Sir Keith has clearly positioned himself to the right of the most right-wing government this country has seen in our lifetimes.
How can you possibly support this and call yourself left-wing?
Keith is very supportive of Rishi Sunak's plan to hike up tax for the working class, including our wonderful and heroic nurses. But Keith is absolutely furious that Sunak plans to increase corporation tax to 25%. Not only is his position obscene, it's economically illiterate.
"It will hurt growth," Keith says. No, it fucking won't.
Corporation tax is only charged on profit, and only then does the 25% get charged on profit that a corporation does not reinvest. You know how the right have been telling us for years that lower corporation tax encourages investment? Well, to their credit, the Tories are incentivising reinvestment and making those who don't reinvest pay a little more.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no Rishi Sunak fan boy, far from it. But Sunak is unquestionably to the left of Anneliese Dodds on fiscal policy. And that is unacceptable.
Starmer would like to set corporation tax at around 18%, which would be among the lowest rates of any developed country. Sunak on the other hand, plans to set corporation tax at 25%, which would bring it in line with most developed countries, and most, if not all of them, are performing better economically than Britain right now.
You'd think Starmer would understand this, given he wants to be Prime Minister. Personally, I think he's livid the Tories have adopted John McDonnell's tax proposal and made Starmer look like a Tory knob head. They've completely outmanoeuvred him again.
No wonder the Tories are 13 points ahead in the polls.
But wait, that was from before all this happened, and when you consider public approval for the Covid vaccination program is high, you can expect the next opinion poll to make grim reading indeed for Keith. I will try not to laugh.
Corbyn's Labour forged a coalition of public sector workers, the working poor, ethnic minorities, and generally decent human beings. Starmer has attempted to forge a coalition of racists, corporations, and complete and utter bastards. And hilariously, they are now telling him, they prefer the Tories. He is just their plan B.
Keith has dug himself into an almighty hole, and all this comes before the local and mayoral elections. So what has Keith's preparation for these elections been? More Stalinist purges and an attempt to rig the Liverpool mayoral election by installing a neoliberal no one wants. Keith has declared war against Britain's most socialist city and deprived them of their socialist choice in Anna Rothery. I cannot see this ending well for him.
So what's the solution to all of this?
Well, I was reading in some right-wing rag, the people around Starmer rather hilariously think the way forward is to purge anyone even slightly left-wing, including deputy leader (and Starmer loyalist) Angela Rayner! You really couldn't make it up. They are making no secret of their plans to turn the Labour Party into UKIP version 2.
Of course, not everyone around Starmer is an insane right-wing nut job, and some are now genuinely fearful they will lose their seats in 2024 as voters abandon Labour in droves. If Keith performs terribly at the local and mayoral elections, it's entirely possible he will be pushed out. However, don't get too excited because these people don't learn and they certainly don't want unity. Expect the next leadership contest to be a complete stitch up with a winner absolutely no one wants, like Yvette Cooper. Vomit.
Just start a new party already, Jeremy Corbyn!
Anyways, that's enough ranting about Keith and Labour because I want to discuss Harry and Meghan and their abysmal treatment by the royal family. Let's be clear: these relics have absolutely no place in modern society and they must go. Like yesterday.
The royals have vilified and tried to destroy Britain's first Black princess while she is carrying the Queen's frigging great-grandchild. How completely and utterly sadistic does one have to be? I genuinely fear for the personal safety of Harry and Meghan and hope they can somehow escape this madness and live in peace.
The sheer hypocrisy of these people.
For years, our royals have flown over to Saudi Arabia to hang out with their mates, the Saudi royal family and sell them bombs which get used to commit crimes against humanity. Now suddenly they're upset that Meghan wore a pair of ear rings gifted by the Saudis? Are you kidding me?
And then there's the bullying accusations which have suddenly come to light two and a half years later, perfectly timed to coincide with the Oprah interview. What were those allegations? That Meghan sometimes sent emails to her staff early in the morning when they were still in bed!
PRINCE ANDREW HUNG AROUND ON A CHILD TRAFFICKER'S PAEDOPHILE ISLAND AND YOU WANT TO INVESTIGATE MEGHAN???
What the fuck is wrong with these people? And how can anyone still support them? I cannot begin to comprehend why anyone would back the royal family after they revealed their sheer vindictiveness for the world to see.
It was particularly heartwarming, however, to see Whoopi Goldberg and her panel on The View absolutely tearing the royals to shreds over this. Here is a clip:
Next thing I wanted to touch upon is the Tories' obscene waste.
One percent. That is all they can offer our heroic NHS staff. One frigging percent. We asked those people to risk their lives for us and then gave them a pay cut in real terms. But at least we clapped for them. "We couldn't possibly afford any more," says expenses cheat Nadine Dorries who had to repay £3,000 she wrongly claimed.
Perhaps the Tories spent all of our money paying off Priti Patel's bullying victims. £340,000 is what they reportedly paid to Sir Philip Rutnam after making the poor man's life hell. But Patel is always getting accused of bullying and we are always paying out compensation on her behalf, it seems. And yet she gets to keep her job?
In the real world, if your boss has to pay out six-figure compensation sums due to your behaviour, you get dismissed. But then again, we're talking about Priti Patel, a woman who was previously sacked for having secret meetings with a foreign power, which sounds alarmingly close to treason. It seems no indiscretion is severe enough for the Tories to finally rid themselves of the "Prittster," making me wonder what dirt she has on them.
But it's not just Priti Patel who is proving a huge drain on the nation's resources. I'm hearing we've just given another £15 billion to Serco, taking our spending on Test and Trace up to £37 billion, which according to my maths is 50,000 times more than what the Republic of Ireland paid. Someone please tell me my maths is terrible because this is horribly depressing.
The Tories have a magic money tree for their corporate mates and empty gestures for those who are willing to die for us. Makes you proud to be British, doesn't it?
Anyways, this piece is ballooning a little more than anticipated so I'm going to cut it off there and probably do a part 2 in a day or so.
In summary, we need to abolish the Tories, abolish the Tories in the Labour Party, and abolish the Royal Family. And if you disagree with those sentiments, we definitely can't be friends! Until next time...
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email: r.d.hale@outlook.com